Reading Joyfully Together

Joyfully Together—The Art of Building a Harmonious Community (by Thich Nhat Hanh)

(The book consists of innovative practices inspired by Buddhist traditions)

Chapter One        The Power of the Sacred Forest

A Sangha is a community of people who walks the path of liberation together. The Sangha building practices are even more important than studying the sutras, practicing sitting meditation, listening to Dharma talks, or attending Dharma discussions. To build a Sangha, we need to know the art of Sangha building. Wanting to build a Sangha is not enough. We have to live and practice in a Sangha. The best way of building the Sangha is to turn ourselves into positive elements of the Sangha body by the way we walk, stand, sit or lie down in mindfulness. When others in the Sangha see our stability in this way, they will also become solid.

If the Sangha body is a forest, then each member is a tree with its own unique qualities, standing joyfully alongside the other trees. If you want the Sangha to be strong, you have to contribute your own energy to the Sangha. When the bell of mindfulness is invited—even if you are out in the garden or working in the kitchen—if you come back to your breathing, you are making the Sangha energy stronger. When the bell is invited to announce the meal, do not delay, thinking: The line is still very long. If I go and stand in the line, I will be wasting my time. Standing in line with the rest of the Sangha, you can practice mindful breathing and your presence is a very valuable contribution to the Sangha.

Sometimes a member disregards the Sangha agreement of, for example, not wearing colored socks. When you point it out to her, “Why don’t you do what the teacher told us to do?” she may be defensive and later wear colored socks even more often as a form of protest. Something small like this could suffocate the whole Sangha. In this situation, both parties are responsible to act in a way that our capacity of communication remains solid. If we stop communicating, then there is no help for us and the whole Sangha body suffers.

How can we love someone who is difficult to love? The best way is to look deeply to see her situation and the difficulties she has. When we can understand her difficulties, we can accept her and feel love for her. This is a practice that needs perseverance. Going back to the previous example, that sister might not have many clean socks left. All we need to do is to practice mindfulness diligently every day to recognize what is happening in our own mind. Then we will be able to establish communication with our brothers and sisters, and love them.

Skillful Means

We need to practice skillful means to help each other. When sweet medicine is needed, we can give sweet medicine. When bitter medicine is needed, we can give bitter medicine. When flexibility is needed, we can be flexible; when firmness is needed, we can be firm. Whatever method we use, it should always be practiced with compassion. But compassion does not mean that we just allow someone to continue to behave in an unwholesome way. We have to love without allowing our love to be misused. When we commit ourselves to Sangha building, we have to learn when to be gentle and when to be firm. Sometimes we have to act swiftly and not allow the situation to continue, because that is the only way we express our love.  

Loving with Equanimity

The capacity to be inclusive and embrace everyone in the Sangha body is the basic quality of Sangha building. The practice of loving kindness means developing patience and an open mind and heart. The mind does not take sides and treats everyone equally, like a real mother who loves all her children. To practice is to learn how to love without discrimination or attachment.

But we also ask how far our inclusiveness should go. The Buddha once asked a horse trainer how he trained horses. The horse trainer mentioned three methods: gentle methods, strong methods, and combination of gentle and strong methods. Then the Buddha asked, “If all three methods are not successful, then what do you do?” The horse trainer answered, “I have to kill the horse to keep the whole horse herd from being corrupted by that horse.” Then he asked the Buddha how he taught the monks and nuns. The Buddha replied, “I do exactly what you do.”

In Plum Village we have sometimes sent a monk or nun home, we also do this out of love. We organize a farewell tea meditation for them, buy their ticket home, give them pocket money, and offer them advice.

In Plum Village, the practice of Sangha building is seen as the most important practice in our program of training. If we want to be successful in practicing and teaching the Dharma in the future, we have to learn fully how to build a Sangha right now. Someone who does not have the capacity to build a Sangha will not be able to help the world. When we stand beautifully alongside the other trees, we begin to contribute to the Sangha body. We put all our heart into our studies and practice, and do not look for little comforts, expecting this person to love us or that person to be attentive to us, growing angry when we are not treated “equally” or given our fair share. These things are not important to those on the spiritual path. The truly important thing is that we learn to stand beautifully and joyfully together with the rest of the Sangha. If we do, then quite naturally we will grow quickly, making a positive contribution to the Sangha body. This contribution will, sooner or later, bring about a great deal of happiness in the world.

Chapter Two        Healing Our Isolation

In the Buddha’s day in the areas where he taught and practiced, it was the custom for other religious practitioners to meet regularly and stay together for one day in order to discuss the teachings and practice, and live as a spiritual family all day long. If we want to preserve this beautiful tradition, we should organize our Sangha so that everyone can be present to live together for an entire day in the spirit of a spiritual family. This day is important to nourish the growth of our practice. This day can also be observed by laypeople together with monastics in the monastery. It’s a peaceful and joyful family gathering. The children and teenagers enjoy coming and spending time together.

If there are tendencies in our brothers or sister that we find unskillful, we then look at ourselves to see if we too have those tendencies. We make the determination to practice to transform ourselves. Our own practice and transformation is the best way to help our brother and sister.

We may ask ourselves, “Do I have negative characteristics that prevent others from being close to me? How do I relate to the Sangha? Look deeply within.

In Buddhism, the six categories of unwholesome desires are fame, wealth, sex, power, too much eating, and excessive sleep. When we are caught in and controlled by unwholesome desires, we fail to see things clearly as they are, and others in the practice will find it difficult to talk to us. Letting go our unwholesome desires and our attachment to worldly life brings us harmony.

We condemn someone who corrects us: He does not care about me. But in fact, our friends care deeply for us, and out of care they will show us our mistakes. Our sisters and brothers are obliged to help each other in this way. But if we are not able to listen when someone is trying to help us, we are throwing away the mirrors that our friends has lend us. We all have the tendency to see unwholesome qualities in others without being able to admit that we ourselves have these same qualities. By cultivating humility, we can gradually integrate ourselves into the Sangha body.

Our words carry the vibrations of our emotions, and when we speak, others can feel our emotions. Practice mindfulness and transform it. It’s important to be open to guidance, advice and criticism in a Sangha. It’s both the responsibility of the person receiving the advice to practice listening with humility and acceptance, and for the one giving the advice to offer it at such a time in such a way that it can be easily accepted. We need to train ourselves to receive guidance and we also learn to offer guidance skillfully.

Being unwilling to share is also a kind of stealing. If we have more than enough, but do not share, that’s greed.

True love is a process of humility. There is no place for pride in true love.

Bow when we hear criticism, correction, and guidance, then reflect until peace arises. The Sangha is our mirror; our fellow practitioners are our mirror, and our family members are our mirror.  See deeply and surrender with love to see what happens.

Chapter 3        Creating Harmony & Happiness

All decision in a Buddhist community of practice have to be based on the sanghakarman procedure. Sanghakarman procedure has 3 forms, single announcement karman, double announcement karman, and quadruple announcement karman (for very important matters). Before the sanghakarma procedure, we take our time to listen to views of everyone concerned until a consensus is reached, then we can initiate the sanghakarman procedure.

Calling for a meeting of the Sangha to listen to everyone explain their ideas is a basic and necessary practice. Senior members have the duty to encourage less senior ones to express. Even when we don’t like certain decision, we trust Sangha eyes and Sangha ears, which generally make the best decisions. Take refuge in Sangha is not an aspiration. It’s a daily practice.

Chapter 4        The Seven Methods of Resolving Conflict

They are the last 7 of the 250 precepts a monk takes (348 precepts for nuns).

• All parties should be present in a meeting to share their suffering. To practice deep listening, just listen. The full presence of all parties is very important.
• All parties should remember and recount the details of the conflict. Possibly, a meeting needs to be convened to encourage the concerned people to remember everything that has happened in the past. In this way, whatever they have seen, heard, and thought about can be expressed to the community. This is a way to help everyone look deeply, self-examine, see his or her own responsibility in this conflict, and gain better understanding of both parties,
• It should be determined that neither party is mentally ill. :)
• The parties should confess their own unskillfulness. A meeting will be convened if concerned parties can speak about the unskillfulness and the lack of mindfulness that have led him or her to do or say causing the conflict. This is the practice of Beginning Anew. Always express regret first. Invite the other party to do the same.
• A committee is assembled to investigate the nature of the conflict, to understand the case in all its details.
• A majority vote is used to resolve the conflict. Go with the Sangha decision once it’s made. Trust the Sangha and let the case settle. The Buddha created the precepts to encourage everyone to make every effort to maintain harmony in the community.
• Respected senior members of the community are invited to declare a general amnesty. They may say, “We are all brothers and sisters of the same family. We have to forgive each other. We have to put down straw on the muddy path so that we can walk together. I propose a general amnesty.”

Chapter 5        Caring for Each Other

Combine the spirit of seniority with the spirit of democracy. Everyone has a contribution to make. At Plum Village, once the Sangha has made the decision, let Caretaking Council do its work. “Teach me and I shall forget; show me and I shall remember; let me do it and I shall understand.”

When people criticize the monks for drinking a little too much tea, I (Thich Nhan Hanh) smiled. If the monks drink tea mindfully and practice building brotherhood, it is sometimes more effective than long hours of sitting meditation or reciting the sutras without looking at each other.

There is no more beautiful task than spending one’s time in this work of love, discovering the talents of everyone in the Sangha.

The Dharmacharya Council

Teaching the Dharma is something that requires one’s whole being. Every step and every breath becomes a Dharma talk.

Weekly Meetings

• Enjoy tea and being together
• List of agenda before the discussion
• Speak only with calm and loving kindness
• The decisions made are much less important than the effect of nourishing our sense of brotherhood and sisterhood

Meditation Before Meetings

We vow to go through this meeting in a spirit of togetherness as we review all ideas and consolidate them to reach a harmonious understanding or consensus. We vow to use the methods of loving speech and deep listening in order to bring about the success of this meeting as an offering to the Three Jewels. We vow not to hesitate to share our ideas and insights but also vow not to say anything when the feeling of irritation is present in us. We are resolutely determined not to allow tension to build up in this meeting. If any one of us senses the start of tension, we will stop immediately and practice Beginning Anew right away so as to reestablish an atmosphere of togetherness and harmony.

To speak out is your duty as a member of the Sangha. Please be brave and contribute to the happiness of the Sangha by expressing your idea.

When the Sangha has a matter to resolve, it should rely on the Sangha Eyes to look for solution, never on the eyes of one individual alone.

Practicing with the Triangle

Triangle: One person is upset by another person. Instead of talking to that person directly, complains to the 3rd person. The triangle is a tiny shoot that sprout from the seed of division and unhappiness. Everyone has the duty to uproot the triangle before it grows.

The Second Body

The second body system is a Sangha building practice at Plum Village. In a large Sangha, it isn’t possible to be close to everyone, so we are each given a “second body” to take special care of. A Dharma sister may be our second body. Always look after her when she is ill or low-spirited. The second body system can be a wonderful way to stay connected to the whole Sangha by taking care of just one member of the Sangha.

The Mentor System

A mentor reports to the Dharmacharya Council every month about the progress of his mentee so that the dharmacharya will know what teachings are needed in the Sangha.

Shining Light

We sincerely invite dharma sisters and brothers to shine light on us. They not only point out our shortcomings but tell us first what we have excelled in. Then they offer us concrete practices to maintain and increase our good qualities while transforming what is unwholesome. If there is any anger or irritation in us, it is better not to speak. We vow that every word spoken will be from a place of love within us.

Watering Flowers

Practice watering the flowers of your loved ones and your brothers and sisters in the Sangha. They may need your words of appreciation and encouragement. The practice of watering flower is an expression of our gratitude. When we are grateful, we will no longer suffer so much.

Beginning Anew

Start again… :)

Bring Our Teachers Inside

When we take mindful steps, our teacher is in us.

Chapter 6        Nourishing Our Families

Dedicate a room as the breathing room. When parents quarrel again, as a kid, you can invite them or one of them to go to the breathing room with you. The most precious gift parents can offer their children is their own happiness. We can transform the negative habit energies we have received from our father and mother and not hand them to our children in the future. This is the deepest way of sharing our gratitude to our ancestors.

Practice: Write love letters to those in our family, especially those difficult ones.

It’s a great offering that we can make to ourselves, our beloved ones and our ancestors to do the work of reconciliation with our blood family. We reconcile with our mother and father inside of us, and we can also discover a skillful way to reconcile with our mother and father outside of us. It is never too late to bring peace and healing into our blood family.

Speak with the language of love. Only then loved ones will come to share their sufferings with us. Listen deeply. Only then we can understand them. Only then we can say we love them. Before that we thought we loved them, but our love wasn’t based on understanding. The more we love, the more they feel stifled.  To love without knowing how to love wounds the person we love.

Ask questions: Do you think I understand you? Do I understand your suffering, your difficulties, and your deepest wishes? If I do not, please help me to understand because if I do not yet understand, I will continue to make you suffer in the name of love.